Reasons Why Beyonce Losing Best Album of the Year is the Actual WORST

Grief. Doubt. Frustration. Heartbreak.

These are all emotions that were pulled out of my heart when I first watched/listened to Lemonade – Beyonce’s 2016 audiovisual masterpiece which chronicles a black woman’s struggles through love and life. What Beyonce shared with the world was not only the raw emotion captured in song and creative art. Lemonade was a statement to the music industry of it’s ever changing landscape on how the world wants and sees music. Lemonade was set to win the Best Album of the Year. Yet the GRAMMYs decided on another winner. Here are 3 reasons why that is total bullshit.

1. Beyonce wins Urban Contemporary Album of the Year

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? The GRAMMYs literally have an urban contemporary category. Sure, let’s throw all the amazing colored artists into one category so they have a chance at a Grammy. Do you understand how patronizing that feels? And yes as an aside, Beyonce being recognized by the colored community via BET awards is great and well deserved. But people of color recognizing people of color for excellence will never match the validation of an internationally known industry standard like what the GRAMMYs have become. People of color are held down by their own oppression – stuck in a circle of handshakes and back pats from the wrong people.

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“It’s important to me to show images to my children that reflect their beauty so they can grow up in a world where they look in the mirror — first through their own families, as well as the news, the Super Bowl, the Olympics, the White House and the Grammys — and see themselves.” – Beyonce Knowles

This woman speaks to her children for this win. She looks to the generations of people of color that would look up and see a person of color win an award for a album. We aren’t talking about equality anymore. This is about EQUITY.

2. “What the Fuck Does She Have to do to Win Album of the Year?”

Words spoken by Album of the Year winner Adele during the Q&A session post-win. Imagine, even the WINNER OF THE BEST ALBUM OF THE AWARD KNOWS THAT IT SHOULDN’T HAVE GONE TO HER! You know what the Grammys taught us on Sunday? It’s no longer about the best music. It’s no longer about art. You can completely change the music game – push boundaries, create a media frenzy from your album drop, positively affect the outlook of millions, perform at the Grammys as a lit-er-al goddess (and kill it). And if you are a person of color, you will never be enough. What an awful, backward message to be sending the millions of supporters of this award show.

3. If We Are Going to Heal, Let it Be Glorious

Spoken by the queen herself at the end of her performance, Beyonce declares “1000 girls raise their arms.” This statement was meant to be a declaration to stand up and fight against the injustices of today’s world. Instead here we are again, on the public stage, using it to tell people of color that you have to fight twice as hard to get what you want. As Malcom X said, “The most disrespected person in America  is the black woman.” Whether you are a single mom working two jobs, an entrepreneur running a business, or Beyonce herself, your excellence will always be looked at with greater judgment. I truly applaud Beyonce’s patience for this bullshit – for her ability to rise above the blatant display of inequity. It is something all people of color must keep in their arsenal from now until things change. Rise above defeat and come back stronger. Clap and cheer in the face of discrimination. Pronounce your greatness even without recognition. This is the world we live in. This is what people of color all need to do to both survive but also thrive in this world.

To anyone who minimizes this issue, they aren’t seeing the whole picture. People always say being nominated is a win in itself. But when winning means changing the outlook of millions of people of color to feel that they are included in popular culture, seen and heard, and that they are recognized for their artistic excellence by a world renown industry institution, WINNING MEANS EVERYTHING.


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A Broken World // Sassy Conversations //

I’ve felt pretty broken for the past four months. My internal bleeding heart is just gushing with anguish from observing the world right now. You can’t ignore the problems of the political sphere we are facing right now and it’s only the beginning.

I’ve ranted about it but I think the final message I want to send to everyone is don’t give up. Let’s not take things lying down. Let’s not wait until it’s too late to fight back. Be vigilant. Be aware. Be ready. Now is not the time to run and hide.


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Why I Wish Ellen Had Kim Burrell on Her Show // TV That’s Snatching My Weave //

Prayer. Love. Forgiveness. Sinners.

All these words are familiar to gospel singer and  Kim Burrell who is now being branded a notorious “homophobe”. This all stems from what she said in a sermon where she basically tells all homosexuals to “beg god to free you”. [Girl, if it were that easy you and I both would be doing better things with our time] She unfortunately comes from a place and time where people still believe that this is a thing. It’s sad and its regressive and unfortunate she had an audience to preach to. But she isn’t the only one. She is certainly not the last.

I think she is misguided.

She lent her voice to a song with Pharrell and was invited to perform on Ellen. In light of this situation, however, Ellen decided to publicly inform the world that she was “uninvited” and went on to ask Pharrell about it. Thank goodness for that guy. While he had to nod and explain her away, he said something great:

“Whenever you hear some sort of hate speech, and you feel like it doesn’t necessarily pertain to you, because you may not have anything to do with that, all you got to do is put the word ‘black’ in that sentence, or put ‘gay’ in that sentence, or put ‘transgender’ in that sentence, or put ‘white’ in that sentence, and all of a sudden it starts to make sense to you”

 

Can anyone explain to me why this exact notion of shaming someone for being intolerable is so terribly ironic?

I thought we learned our lesson. 

Donald Trump is sitting in one of the highest offices in the United States because “the right side” and the “wrong side” didn’t talk to one another. They screamed about it from afar. They didn’t reason which each other – they just judged and brought more like minded people to their side. Unfortunately when you divide a country and majority rules it only shows the harsh reality of that world. But what did that solve?

It seems we have come to a world where EVERYTHING is grounds for offense. Being free to speak your mind is met with a camera in the face and a world wide public shaming. We fight for our own communities when we talk about bullying and violence and yet no one seems to think much about it when they deem it “inappropriate”. How have we not realized that we are stronger as a collective?

Understanding. Conversation. Education. Growth. 

Easier said than done I guess. How do you teach past ignorance? I’m not sure. But stop posting videos and judging from afar. Perhaps Ellen’s show wasn’t the right venue for this conversation. But someone should talk to Kim and try to teach her to see the world in a different way. Stop cutting the other side out. We need to actually be more inclusive instead of just saying we are. Let’s talk about it.


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Threesomes // Dating Deal Breakers //

1. 2. 3. I don’t know why, the first thing that comes to mind when I think of threesomes is Britney’s 3. Well, probably because its a pop dance track about threesomes… Sooo…yea. This dating deal breaker is a little more lighthearted about something you may or may not experience as you traverse the dating world.

Once again, sex positivity FTW in my books.

What do you guys think? Threesomes? Too aggressive?


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Serial Daters // Dating Deal Breakers //

Serial dating is an actual thing. Defined by my friend Emma, a serial dater is someone who:

“as soon as they hit puberty, as soon as dating was acceptable they’ve been in and out of relationships”

We discuss both sides of what it means to be a serial dater, and the dangers of dating one if you want to start something serious.

As I mentioned, I think it’s something that you should be aware of. Knowing someone’s dating past absolutely defines their present and future actions in relationships.

What do you think about this? Are you a serial dater?


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Sex on the First Date // Dating Deal Breakers //

Right off the top I’m going to admit it. I am a sex positive person. I’m not one to shy away from consensual, organic and chemistry charged intimacy. When it comes to dating however, it is easy to muddy the waters with this particular act. Why is that? I’m joined once again by my friend on another episode of Dating Deal Breakers, where we talk about sex on the first date.

Now as I mentioned, in my personal experience, “sexuality is so baked in to the way we deal with things. To me it’s almost normal”. This may not be the case for some people but I think it helps to demystify the idea of sex as being such a taboo subject.

I’m all about sex posititivity. What are your thoughts?


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