A Broken World // Sassy Conversations //

I’ve felt pretty broken for the past four months. My internal bleeding heart is just gushing with anguish from observing the world right now. You can’t ignore the problems of the political sphere we are facing right now and it’s only the beginning.

I’ve ranted about it but I think the final message I want to send to everyone is don’t give up. Let’s not take things lying down. Let’s not wait until it’s too late to fight back. Be vigilant. Be aware. Be ready. Now is not the time to run and hide.


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Why I Wish Ellen Had Kim Burrell on Her Show // TV That’s Snatching My Weave //

Prayer. Love. Forgiveness. Sinners.

All these words are familiar to gospel singer and  Kim Burrell who is now being branded a notorious “homophobe”. This all stems from what she said in a sermon where she basically tells all homosexuals to “beg god to free you”. [Girl, if it were that easy you and I both would be doing better things with our time] She unfortunately comes from a place and time where people still believe that this is a thing. It’s sad and its regressive and unfortunate she had an audience to preach to. But she isn’t the only one. She is certainly not the last.

I think she is misguided.

She lent her voice to a song with Pharrell and was invited to perform on Ellen. In light of this situation, however, Ellen decided to publicly inform the world that she was “uninvited” and went on to ask Pharrell about it. Thank goodness for that guy. While he had to nod and explain her away, he said something great:

“Whenever you hear some sort of hate speech, and you feel like it doesn’t necessarily pertain to you, because you may not have anything to do with that, all you got to do is put the word ‘black’ in that sentence, or put ‘gay’ in that sentence, or put ‘transgender’ in that sentence, or put ‘white’ in that sentence, and all of a sudden it starts to make sense to you”

 

Can anyone explain to me why this exact notion of shaming someone for being intolerable is so terribly ironic?

I thought we learned our lesson. 

Donald Trump is sitting in one of the highest offices in the United States because “the right side” and the “wrong side” didn’t talk to one another. They screamed about it from afar. They didn’t reason which each other – they just judged and brought more like minded people to their side. Unfortunately when you divide a country and majority rules it only shows the harsh reality of that world. But what did that solve?

It seems we have come to a world where EVERYTHING is grounds for offense. Being free to speak your mind is met with a camera in the face and a world wide public shaming. We fight for our own communities when we talk about bullying and violence and yet no one seems to think much about it when they deem it “inappropriate”. How have we not realized that we are stronger as a collective?

Understanding. Conversation. Education. Growth. 

Easier said than done I guess. How do you teach past ignorance? I’m not sure. But stop posting videos and judging from afar. Perhaps Ellen’s show wasn’t the right venue for this conversation. But someone should talk to Kim and try to teach her to see the world in a different way. Stop cutting the other side out. We need to actually be more inclusive instead of just saying we are. Let’s talk about it.


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Threesomes // Dating Deal Breakers //

1. 2. 3. I don’t know why, the first thing that comes to mind when I think of threesomes is Britney’s 3. Well, probably because its a pop dance track about threesomes… Sooo…yea. This dating deal breaker is a little more lighthearted about something you may or may not experience as you traverse the dating world.

Once again, sex positivity FTW in my books.

What do you guys think? Threesomes? Too aggressive?


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Serial Daters // Dating Deal Breakers //

Serial dating is an actual thing. Defined by my friend Emma, a serial dater is someone who:

“as soon as they hit puberty, as soon as dating was acceptable they’ve been in and out of relationships”

We discuss both sides of what it means to be a serial dater, and the dangers of dating one if you want to start something serious.

As I mentioned, I think it’s something that you should be aware of. Knowing someone’s dating past absolutely defines their present and future actions in relationships.

What do you think about this? Are you a serial dater?


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Sex on the First Date // Dating Deal Breakers //

Right off the top I’m going to admit it. I am a sex positive person. I’m not one to shy away from consensual, organic and chemistry charged intimacy. When it comes to dating however, it is easy to muddy the waters with this particular act. Why is that? I’m joined once again by my friend on another episode of Dating Deal Breakers, where we talk about sex on the first date.

Now as I mentioned, in my personal experience, “sexuality is so baked in to the way we deal with things. To me it’s almost normal”. This may not be the case for some people but I think it helps to demystify the idea of sex as being such a taboo subject.

I’m all about sex posititivity. What are your thoughts?


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Why Being Gay and a POC in America Sucks RN

November 8th 2016. Toronto, Canada. The constant weather changes seemed to take me for a spin and I tucked in early. I woke up safe in my bed still feeling a minimal level of anxiety of a Trump win. And when I checked my phone riddled with texts from outraged friends announcing his win my heart sank. In past blogs I’ve mentioned that I identify as a person of color. I am also a gay man. The dual fringe. But I surely didn’t feel close to the amount of dread that my American counterparts were feeling just across the border.

I don’t think Donald Trump is the only monster in this situation. Yes, his campaign trail to the White House is littered with racial slurs, sexist remarks, and Islamophobic quips. But he was not the one who punched innocent peaceful protesters. He did not personally spit in faces of those same people. He may have been the man with the megaphone but he was just chanting back what his audience was giving him.

What I fear the most for the people of color and LGBT communities in the States right now is the fact that him being elected as President just gave every racist, sexist, homophobe, Islamophobe a baseball bat. And with that bat, a signed letter from the government that encourages this hateful behavior.

However, people of color are not going anywhere. The LGBT community is not going anywhere. Now is the opportunity to hold strong and stay together and remember that while this might be the current situation, we refuse to go backwards. This is the time our vigilance for injustice must be stricter and our voices to speak out to be louder. I know it’s not much, but I stand in support for all my POC/LGBT American brothers and sisters in this crucial time. Continue your fight. You’re far from being done.


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