Riverdale’s Cruis-ade on Gay Cruising Culture


So, I’m a big television watcher. Naturally I’ve sunk my teeth into one of my favorite guilty pleasures the CW’s Riverdale which is the real-life version of the Archie comics, but with a very dark twist (I even have another podcast that I co-host). This season started up a few weeks back and lo and behold there is a killer on the loose. But last nights episode exposed something even darker than a masked murderer.

Kevin Keller is the Archie worlds singular gay character, introduced in 2010. In this episode Kevin does something I didn’t even think still happened – cruising.

For those of you who don’t know, cruising is a slang/code word for gay men looking for anonymous gay sex. In many cases, cruising spots were in the thick of woody areas, where gay men knew to congregate via word of mouth so they can do mouth to mouth 😅. It was popularized in the 1970’s and to this day remains an underground aspect of gay culture.

There are two sides to this. On one side, it can be perceived to be for the perverted and kink-loving voyeurs.

The other side is because just like many bi-products of the hetero-normative society, homosexual activity was frowned upon and outlawed. In many cases, cruising was simply the only way gay men could explore their naturally sexual desires.

In its worst moments gay activity became synonymous with the darkness – hiding, lurking, alleyways and closets. But the true reality is, heteronormativity is what pushed homosexuality into that same darkness. The positive of this is it has allowed the gay community to be the leaders in the sexual exploration of male pleasure.

On a wider lens, exploring these aspects in secret allowed us to better understand the connection between intimacy, sex, and fetish without the feeling of societal shame that comes along with some of these activities.

The one thing I will say about watching this on Riverdale, one of the biggest shows on television is, I worry the messaging. Kevin Keller’s extremely shitty defense when confronted by BFF Betty is “this is what I’ve got, these woods. So please don’t come here and tell me it’s disgusting”. In a day and age where gay culture has progressed so far, (the character of Betty even pleads with him to stop and “just use Grindem like every other guy in the world”) there is not a real need for cruising in the woods. Other than the kink aspect of it, putting yourself in a very vulnerable position for all types of harm is just unnecessary. It frustrates me to see it have been used more for a trivial plot device than a real social commentary piece.

Are you a Riverdale fan? What are your thoughts on this? Sound off in the comments below! 

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Dear White People // TV That’s Snatching My Weave

I’m going to keep this short, but please watch this show. This show is so important, especially now. It centers around an Ivy League university in the States and focuses on the racial issues young black people face and what they want to do about it. It is funny, entertaining and too real. I just got to the halfway mark of the first season and it has some extremely powerful moments in it. The way the story is told is showing each character in their small community on campus and how they are interwoven and what their individual perspectives are. The way they tell the story helps to be inclusive and show that there is diversity even within communities.

You may have clicked on or followed this blog for one reason. But remember all people who are marginalized and have had histories of oppression feel a similar pain. Not the same, but similar. This common thread should allow us to not only empathize but be willing to stand up for all injustices. Watch. Stay woke.


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Queer Britain // TV That’s Snatching My Weave

So another one to watch guys. BBC Three just started a series called “Queer Britain” where they tackle different topics based on the LGBTQ perspective. I just got watching the first one and it’s always been a very enticing subject for me: Being Gay and Religious. Check out the first of the series below:

(Also how adorable is the host?)

Watching anything amazing? Sound off in the comments!

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Steven Universe // TV That’s Snatching My Weave //

Before you go in on me about the “cartoons are for kids” notion, please pay attention. I first learned about Steven Universe about a year ago now. I heard about it through Tumblr (okay I know I’m not helping my case) and the post that was attached to it was truly heartwarming so I started to watch it. Now, on any given evening, you’ll find me curled in bed watching a re-run.

It’s a show that’s on the Cartoon Network about a young boy who is being raised by aliens with the mission to help protect the Earth. Besides the ease of watch (every episode is a bearable 10 minutes) and its humor, it is a story with heart.

Now you may be wondering, “why are you posting this show on the Sassy Gay?” It is because the main characters of this show go through the struggles of being the underdog and find ways to still love, learn, grow and accept. Sound familiar? This most recent episode touched me very much – teaching someone to see the other side. It also spoke to a situation that a lot of people seem to need to see I wish Trump would see this scene.You should check it out (@7:38-):

Please watch this show. For inspiration. For happiness.

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Why I Wish Ellen Had Kim Burrell on Her Show // TV That’s Snatching My Weave //

Prayer. Love. Forgiveness. Sinners.

All these words are familiar to gospel singer and  Kim Burrell who is now being branded a notorious “homophobe”. This all stems from what she said in a sermon where she basically tells all homosexuals to “beg god to free you”. [Girl, if it were that easy you and I both would be doing better things with our time] She unfortunately comes from a place and time where people still believe that this is a thing. It’s sad and its regressive and unfortunate she had an audience to preach to. But she isn’t the only one. She is certainly not the last.

I think she is misguided.

She lent her voice to a song with Pharrell and was invited to perform on Ellen. In light of this situation, however, Ellen decided to publicly inform the world that she was “uninvited” and went on to ask Pharrell about it. Thank goodness for that guy. While he had to nod and explain her away, he said something great:

“Whenever you hear some sort of hate speech, and you feel like it doesn’t necessarily pertain to you, because you may not have anything to do with that, all you got to do is put the word ‘black’ in that sentence, or put ‘gay’ in that sentence, or put ‘transgender’ in that sentence, or put ‘white’ in that sentence, and all of a sudden it starts to make sense to you”


Can anyone explain to me why this exact notion of shaming someone for being intolerable is so terribly ironic?

I thought we learned our lesson. 

Donald Trump is sitting in one of the highest offices in the United States because “the right side” and the “wrong side” didn’t talk to one another. They screamed about it from afar. They didn’t reason which each other – they just judged and brought more like minded people to their side. Unfortunately when you divide a country and majority rules it only shows the harsh reality of that world. But what did that solve?

It seems we have come to a world where EVERYTHING is grounds for offense. Being free to speak your mind is met with a camera in the face and a world wide public shaming. We fight for our own communities when we talk about bullying and violence and yet no one seems to think much about it when they deem it “inappropriate”. How have we not realized that we are stronger as a collective?

Understanding. Conversation. Education. Growth. 

Easier said than done I guess. How do you teach past ignorance? I’m not sure. But stop posting videos and judging from afar. Perhaps Ellen’s show wasn’t the right venue for this conversation. But someone should talk to Kim and try to teach her to see the world in a different way. Stop cutting the other side out. We need to actually be more inclusive instead of just saying we are. Let’s talk about it.

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Gaycation title card

Gaycation // TV That’s Snatching My Weave //

Gaycation (VICE) is a documentary series that is hosted and created by actor Ellen Page and her friend Ian Daniel. It follows the two of them as they explore the world and uncover what the LGBT communities are like in different countries. Now in its second season, Gaycation really does give you a lens of the struggles of the communities on a global level and really helps you put life into perspective.

I know that as a gay man living in a metropolitan city in North America, I have it so good. Better yet, I am living in Canada which is a country that has publicly celebrated LGBT rights since the mid 90s and continues to present the same attitude for the rest of the community (including Transgender rights into the Human Rights code just this year).

Gaycation however has completely opened up my mind to the notion that we should not live as a community on just a local level. We need to see what the rest of the world struggles with and how we need to help change it. This season touched me many times – from watching the special on Orlando where they recorded the aftermath of the tragic shooting this past summer. Even seeing the episode on India exposed me to a South Asian community that is largely underexposed even here in Canada (In fact it got me thinking about a new hosting dynamic *wink wink*). It made me feel as though my journey in my own local community needs to focus on that. For anyone who is a part of the LGBT community or is interested in being educated on it, this series is a must watch.

Have you seen it? What are your thoughts?

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Transparent television show

Transparent // TV That’s Snatching My Weave //

I know I’m uber late to the game but I’ve just gotten a chance to watch Amazon’s original show, ‘Transparent‘ which follows a transgender man (MTF) coming out to his family (three children and ex wife). The story starts just as she comes to terms with herself and the fact that coming out to her kids is not going to be as easy as she might have thought.

That moment brought me right back to when I came out to my own sister and best friend at the time – the first two people in my life who I had ever told. It was the same set up: An impromptu dinner which was met by confusion and on my part apprehension.

I’ve only gotten through two thirds of the first season. But riding off the accolades at this (and last years) Emmy’s I knew I had to get it on my watch roster.

It is coming at a great time for the transgender community with a lot of focus on the psychological impact and potential backlash one can face from coming out. It makes me happy to know that Hollywood has recognized the desire for this on the screen. I smile to think that generations after me will have this as a part of their media library to help educate themselves on the T of the LGBT community.

Have you checked it out yet?

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