The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness // Article Repost

I came across this article from a Tumblr vlogger  and was blown away at how many truths it exposed. The writer, Michael Hobbes hits almost every nail on the head when talking about growing up gay and how it effects you. I was moved at how much it spoke to me as a gay man who is also a person of color. This article is for everyone to read. It helps to uncover our need to grow and change as a gay community and also helps those who are Allies to understand how many gay men see the world. Please check it out:

Awesome links that are referenced in the article:


Be the Change // My Dear Gay Community //

Be the Change

It is a choice. We make a choice to live the way we live our lives. Love is harder than lust. Don’t be lazy. Trust in the fact that like with everything you work hard for (as we all know gays are known for ;P), you will get it one day. I just ask that you make that an option. Make love an option.

When you forget why you are, who you are, remember that moment, that emotion you felt when you first told someone you were gay. Hold on to that rush of acceptance, that endless sigh of relief. Remember the smiles and the tears. Remember that; those same people in our lives who have chosen to accept us with love deserve the same respect and understanding. There are other people in this world, and if we want to break this fishbowl around our community, all you have to do is learn to love.

Read Part. I Here

Read Part II. Here


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Looking for Love // My Dear Gay Community //

Looking for Love

At the end of the day, the one thing that all humans, gay or straight, should be looking for is love. There is not one person on earth that doesn’t want that for themselves. When we stay single for our entire lives because we focused too much on ourselves, our successes, and selfish pleasures we send out the idea that it is frankly okay to live a loveless life. This letter is just as much a letter championing love than it is hoping to change the way the gay community thinks.

It’s bad enough that we cannot procreate and make little gay babies to fill our community with more impressionable individuals. In fact, that could just be the crux of the situation. Perhaps because we don’t feel like we really contribute to the norms of society, we believe that we can set our own standards and our own paths. I do believe in freedoms and living an untethered life, but above all else, I do believe in love. I believe in the butterflies you feel when you touch for the first time. I believe in the feeling you get when you wake up next to someone and smile. I believe in the heart stopping exhilaration you feel when you say, “I do”. And I even believe in the heartbreak you feel when that person is gone. Feeling if not love is the reason for life.

And to remind you of what you should be promoting, here is Same Love by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.

Read Part I. Here
Read Part III. Here


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What You Present to the World // My Dear Gay Community //

What You Present to the World

Stop being so sexual. It’s a simple request.

I, as a gay man, understand the trials and tribulations of being gay but that does not mean we become animals in the process. Yes, we’ve told our stories to our friends and family. We had to sit them down, or write them a letter and pour our heart out to them. Essentially, we had to tell them the one thing that mattered: I like men.

When I go online, and want to chat with a guy, the first thing I don’t want to see before your face is a picture of your dick. Nor do I want to answer a question that has the words, “top”, “bottom”, or “into” in it. Tear yourself away from your mask of insecurities and do some good for your community.

You also may think, that this does not affect your interaction with the rest of the world – “It’s just online”. First of all: Why would you show pictures of your face and junk online and then assume that would never affect your real life? Are none of you aspiring to be successes? Secondly, acting a certain way online slowly but surely changes your attitude in the real world. Online, people tend to be more abrupt, crude, and perverted. If you don’t think that would change the way you act toward people in person, you’re sorely mistaken. Soon enough, you won’t know how to function around anyone.

Don’t think adding words like, “educated, professional, masc” enhance anything to a profile that showcases a picture of your bare headless torso. Be direct as to what you want and don’t be selfish, you can’t have it all.  And what’s with the discrimination? “blacks only, whites only, masc only”. Why are you setting that level of separation within your own community? There is such a thing as preference, but why put that out there like that? It is so inclusive and judgmental. The worst thing of it all is for the most part people are picking at things that people can’t change, like race or personality. There is something else people can’t change about themselves – homosexuality. And for that reason, you should be more aware and understanding of blanketing a particular population. Keep it to yourselves boys; no one needs to hear who you exclusively like to get fucked by.

In North America, we are in the golden age of being gay. Do not undo the great work of Harvey Milk and all gay rights activists that came before us by flashing your junk online. You might think, “Hey, none of your business. I do what I want with my life, I’m not bothering anyone.”

You are entirely incorrect. Unfortunately, (or as you should see it, fortunately) you are in fact a reflection of the gay community in all that you do. Whether it be winning a Pulitzer prize, or sucking a guy’s dick in the middle of the street during Pride week people are always watching. Yes, we are sexual, yes, we are free. But we are also human beings who are a part of a large community – the human race. You cannot perpetuate the stereotype that all gay men are over sexualized perverts. “Well aren’t you doing so with this post?” you may ask. Yes I am, but it’s because as a gay man, this is what I’ve seen. Can you imagine what impressionable and unexposed youth, men and women conclude when they see or hear these things? When you say, “I want to fuck” long before you say, “I want love”, whether or not it is true, as long as you live in this modern world you are a role model for someone. Think about that.

Read Part II Here.

Read Part III Here.


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