The Clingy Dater // The Gay Dater

CLINGY DATERS! When you start dating, sometimes people go a little too far too fast. When is it appropriate to love up on someone? When do you realize that maybe you’re just a little icy? I talk to my girl Jo about this topic. Enjoy the podcast! 

https://www.spreaker.com/user/10077885/tsg-gd-the-clingy-dater

What are your thoughts on this? Sound off in the comments below!


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Why I Got Back on GRINDR // The Gay Dater //

So this is directly connected to my last podcast where I explained why I decided to get off Grindr. I recorded them back to back while I was in Europe. And long story short, the reason was…because I was in Europe! Take a listen:

What are your thoughts on online dating sites/apps? Was I justified? Should I have gotten back on Grindr? Sound off in a comment below!


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Sex on the First Date // Dating Deal Breakers //

Right off the top I’m going to admit it. I am a sex positive person. I’m not one to shy away from consensual, organic and chemistry charged intimacy. When it comes to dating however, it is easy to muddy the waters with this particular act. Why is that? I’m joined once again by my friend on another episode of Dating Deal Breakers, where we talk about sex on the first date.

Now as I mentioned, in my personal experience, “sexuality is so baked in to the way we deal with things. To me it’s almost normal”. This may not be the case for some people but I think it helps to demystify the idea of sex as being such a taboo subject.

I’m all about sex posititivity. What are your thoughts?


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Why I Quit Grindr // The Gay Dater //

Grindr. The bane of my existence. How did I let this location based hookup dating app take over my life? I explain in my latest podcast and also tell you why I took a break from it:

For those of you who are wondering, there is a part 2 to this story, as I later decided to get back into the dating game. Stay tuned for that post soon.

What are your thoughts on online dating sites/apps? What have your experiences been? Sound off in a comment below!


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“No Asians” // The Gay Dater //

I know I already wrote an entire blog on gays spreading sass to gays. But, just yesterday, I saw a profile that read, “no Asians, it’s just a preference and I’m not going to apologize for it.” and I couldn’t take it:

One of the many problems that I have with seeing that racist bullshit is that I’m a mix (half Goan and half Filipino). Considering that being a mixed race is now becoming more and more prevalent in our society, where do you draw the line? Where do you continue to be a prejudiced ass bag? Who the fuck are you to tell certain people not to approach you, you close-minded cunt? At the very least if you’re gonna be a dick, keep that prejudiced shit to yourself. Or read a fucking book for once, I’m pretty sure To Kill a Mockingbird sums up your entire “preference” argument.

I guess it’s my bad for having more confidence that gays would have a more accepting world view, but it just turns out that discrimination is a human problem no matter what walk of life you come from. Damn shame.

Tell me what you think. What have your experiences been with this?


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Are You a Top, Bottom or Versatile? // The Gay Dater //

Oh the labels we give each other. Why is it that we constantly want to label ourselves? Tops, Bottoms, Bears, Jocks, Otters. So many things!

Those terms are for people and websites. How do you know what you’re into with a guy sexually until you’re actually with them?…You gotta be adaptable or else you’re gonna miss out. – Looking, HBO (Season 1, Episode 5)

Is it not hard enough to be a homosexual? Why can’t I be gay and just that? These other labels shouldn’t ever matter. Labels further push us into identifiable boxes of conformity. It annoys me when someone asks those silly questions or opts to tell you their preferences. How would you know what you want or prefer when sexual intercourse between individuals should always be based on connection and not on who wants a cock up their ass?

When I encounter this during a conversation, the firs thing I conclude is I think you’re close minded. As gay individuals we have the capacity to top or bottom whenever or whoever we are with.

Preference is different from ability, but when you say you are strictly a top you sound like an overly dominant douchebag who just wants to do the one thing that you think involves sex. When I hear strictly bottom I hear the same. Versatility, keep your options open. You’d be surprised how much more you’ll enjoy sex when you don’t conform to what you think you want.


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Grindr Culture // The Gay Dater //

My experiences with dating through Grindr is if that most people take it as a selfish act – people don’t know what they want, sexualize all of their desires, and still want to be sincere.

Ex. “Top, looking for friends. No Hookups!”

It’s contradictory, and many a time people just go along with that culture because they don’t know any better. I used to be the same way. But I’ve learned over time that my dignity and self worth are higher than sending pictures of my ass and cock to any Joe Blow and let that define me over who I am as a person, outside of sex and even my sexuality. Recently, I talked to a guy who used the common conversation starter, “Into?” and I clapped back with “I’m into a lot of things, but most of all I’m into having a proper conversation with someone”. I think he was taken aback and he admitted to me that he wasn’t really even sure why he had said it in the first place.

At the end of the day, just because we’re gay, it does not warrant us to act like animals to each other. To each their own, some people like that culture, but I think about those young impressionable men who stumble upon this world and assume that as the normal treatment of others online.

This creates a never ending spiral that drives them away from finding out who they really are, and instead distracting them with the vain and shallow aspects of the gay community. It’s such an interesting world because in person, no one would flash you their cock before you saw their face, unless you were at Steamworks purposely looking for anonymous sex.

Thoughts?


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