The Ghost and The Ghosted // The Gay Dater //

When I first did my podcast on Ghosting, I really wanted to talk about my own personal experiences. I soon realized that, like all topics, its so much more interesting to get another perspective. In this part two, I talk to Jo who adds a second layer to the story of this very common experience while dating. We talk about being the ghoster, and being ghosted and what that means. This is Ghosting Pt. 2. Enjoy the episode.

What have your ghosting experiences been? Sound off in a comment below!


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Oh, The Crazy Sexy Places You’ll Go // The Gay Dater

Trains, planes, taxi cabs, parks, beaches. The list is endless when it comes to alternative places to have sex other than a bed. In most cases, its because of necessity. I talk with my co-host of the episode Jo about our crazy sexual places but move into talking about the sexual aspect of voyeurism and exhibitionism. We then talk about sex spas and cruising, both prevalent on the underbelly of the gay community, and discuss why they still exist. This is, Oh the Crazy Sexy Places You’ll Go. Enjoy the episode.

Where is the craziest place you’ve had sex? Sound off in a comment below!


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I’m F*cking a Married Man // The Gay Dater

It’s 2017. And it seems nowadays the traditional iteration of a relationship has kind of gone out the window. Open relationships are the new monogamy with many couples. And I’m not just talking boyfriends and girlfriends. I’m talking about married couples as well. For many married couples the term “Til Death Do Us Part” now has a big asterisk beside it that stipulates, “I’m bound to you but for the sake of our longevity (or whatever reason), we can fuck other people.” I’m not here to break down social norms as to why society has shifted in this way. I just find it fascinating how prevalent its become in not only the homosexual culture (where I believe it has been predominant for longer) but also now the heterosexual culture in the most recent wave of the new generation. At the end of the day I think people have their own individual reasons as to why they desire this particular arrangement. I talk with Jo about my personal experiences with it, and some of the pitfalls of open relationships.

What are your thoughts on open relationships? Sound off in a comment below!


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I Hate Your Boyfriend // Sassy Conversations //

Have you ever noticed when friends get into relationships, things can change? Not only do they become less available, but it’s almost as if their whole being becomes sucked up into this completely new relationship.

Sound familiar? Perhaps…Are you that friend? When people get into relationships, there is a change that comes over them. They claim they have become the best version of themselves and the relationship is so amazing. Of course, as the friend you’re happy for them but on occasion you may see a side to them you didn’t really expect.

I sit down with my friend Jo and chat about friends getting into relationships and what that can mean. Enjoy this episode of Sassy Conversations – I hate your boyfriend.

Have you ever dealt with shitty friends? Sound off in a comment below!


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Being The Side D*ck // The Gay Dater //

I wanted to open this blog up with a little preface before I get into a full conversation with my co-host Jo and its because we hit on a topic that is kinda big, kinda controversial. Infidelity. When it comes to the story of infidelity, there are usually two main characters. The cheater and the cheated. However, there is always another person in the story. In some cases other people.

In my own exploration of self, relationships and sex, I have once found myself on that end of it. Yes you guessed it – I’ve been what can only be described as the side piece.

From Nina Simone’s The Other Woman and most recently SZA’s The Weekend, there are tales of the lamenting side piece and how it feels to be the one that gives the man something he wants, but not the one who the man comes home to. I won’t say that it’s necessarily glorified, but it definitely doesn’t explore the reasons as to why side pieces willingly decide to get themselves into this position in the first place.

I’m opening up this dialogue with my story to bring awareness to a few things. Not excuses for any one, including myself but just laying down some knowledge. The first thing is the realization that men are pigs. The second is that strong relationships are built on trust. Without trust there is no relationship. Finally, there is no excuse to cheat. Period. And what I have learned from my experiences is there is no reason (even if it is exclusively selfish) to knowingly partake in a situation that perpetuates distrust between two people.

I hope this podcast allows you to understand all impacts of cheating – the cheater, the cheating with, and the cheated on. Get ready for a big one.

What are your thoughts on being the side person? Have you ever dealt with it? Sound off in a comment below!


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I Am Not Your Daddy: Ageism and Dating // The Gay Dater //

OH Daddy! Just kidding.

Ageism is defined as “the stereotyping and discriminating against individuals or groups on the basis of their age. This may be casual or systematic”.

Now in my particular case, I’m focusing more on the casual aspect of ageism. I’m talking about ageism in dating. In this podcast I talk with my girl Jo about ageism, what it means, and what happens when the tables are turned.

What are your thoughts on ageism? Have you ever dealt with it? Sound off in a comment below!


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Riverdale’s Cruis-ade on Gay Cruising Culture

Cruise

So, I’m a big television watcher. Naturally I’ve sunk my teeth into one of my favorite guilty pleasures the CW’s Riverdale which is the real-life version of the Archie comics, but with a very dark twist (I even have another podcast that I co-host). This season started up a few weeks back and lo and behold there is a killer on the loose. But last nights episode exposed something even darker than a masked murderer.

Kevin Keller is the Archie worlds singular gay character, introduced in 2010. In this episode Kevin does something I didn’t even think still happened – cruising.

For those of you who don’t know, cruising is a slang/code word for gay men looking for anonymous gay sex. In many cases, cruising spots were in the thick of woody areas, where gay men knew to congregate via word of mouth so they can do mouth to mouth 😅. It was popularized in the 1970’s and to this day remains an underground aspect of gay culture.

There are two sides to this. On one side, it can be perceived to be for the perverted and kink-loving voyeurs.

The other side is because just like many bi-products of the hetero-normative society, homosexual activity was frowned upon and outlawed. In many cases, cruising was simply the only way gay men could explore their naturally sexual desires.

In its worst moments gay activity became synonymous with the darkness – hiding, lurking, alleyways and closets. But the true reality is, heteronormativity is what pushed homosexuality into that same darkness. The positive of this is it has allowed the gay community to be the leaders in the sexual exploration of male pleasure.

On a wider lens, exploring these aspects in secret allowed us to better understand the connection between intimacy, sex, and fetish without the feeling of societal shame that comes along with some of these activities.

The one thing I will say about watching this on Riverdale, one of the biggest shows on television is, I worry the messaging. Kevin Keller’s extremely shitty defense when confronted by BFF Betty is “this is what I’ve got, these woods. So please don’t come here and tell me it’s disgusting”. In a day and age where gay culture has progressed so far, (the character of Betty even pleads with him to stop and “just use Grindem like every other guy in the world”) there is not a real need for cruising in the woods. Other than the kink aspect of it, putting yourself in a very vulnerable position for all types of harm is just unnecessary. It frustrates me to see it have been used more for a trivial plot device than a real social commentary piece.

Are you a Riverdale fan? What are your thoughts on this? Sound off in the comments below! 


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