Being Mixed & Gay: The Dual Fringe

I feel in many ways people attach themselves heavily to their history and their culture. From religion to race to country nativity to skin color, it is human nature to find ways to find commonality and from that, community. On the flipside, it also creates exclusivity.

I was born Canadian by immigrant parents of two different cultures (Filipino mom and Goan dad). And whether the dual culture + Canadian culture upbringing had something to do with it, I never felt a real deep connection to either.

When you are mixed you see race on a wider lens. You are born with an innate sense of self, a view of the world outside of community. You are also born into a world of intolerance. Where in North America, the white patriarchy is alive and well. Unfortunately in many cases, the white man is born ignorant to the realities of people of color. Being at the apex of society gives you the ability to look down on those who struggle and up at the endless opportunities for further growth. As a mixed person in this world, I believe you need to forge your own path and create your own history. You truly are trailblazing for a race that is so individualized that it almost only applies to you specifically (and possibly siblings). Having that detachment from the rest of the world – feeling disconnected from a history can be isolating. But for me, I find it as a source of strength.

Being disconnected from the expectations of society allows you to dismiss social constructs of the past – a setback of a lot of people who are cultured and come from one specific background experience. I have always had the same outlook on life – the idea of always looking ahead instead of backward.

Heternormative traditions were also something that became more apparent growing up gay which we were assumed to uphold (of course, another marginalized grouping, smh). But I see myself as a gay man in this generation once again encouraged to make your own history as well. You cannot follow what everyone else is doing – there are very few gay relationship role models. (Ellen DeGeneres and Neil Patrick Harris do not count, no shade).

I go by the opinion to follow your own rules that you set on every level of your life. When you don’t have a history to attach yourself to the possibilities are endless.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Any experiences to share?


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One thought on “Being Mixed & Gay: The Dual Fringe

  1. […] sank. In past blogs I’ve mentioned that I identify as a person of color. I am also a gay man. The dual fringe. But I surely didn’t feel close to the amount of dread that my American counterparts were […]

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