It’s a common question that is asked by people who do not understand gay relationships. Unfortunately, I’m sure there are also some gay men who perpetuate this misconception, but it’s only because in this day and age, homosexuality is such a newly accepted thing, that there is no one to really look up to when it comes to standardizing what being in a gay relationship means. To label oneself as “wife” or “husband” isolates you to those roles – roles that were defined by a white patriarchal society. We have no ownership over that world (nor should we want to) Yes gays love to do things ironically. But it’s not working. Instead we continue to put ourselves into a square box, finding names and scenarios for the rest of society to judge us upon. Let’s create our own history.