For a group that has been marginalized and ostracized, it is still shocking to me that we as the gay community of this century for the most part do a pretty good job at racializing, stereotyping and excluding people within our very own community.
I can’t even count how many times I’ve been on dating sites, (and yes by “dating sites” they range from the ever smutty Grindr, mediocre Plenty of Fish, OKCupid and the like, though it shouldn’t even matter where I’m sourcing this information) and have seen the following requirements to date:
- Masc only
- No asians or blacks
- Only attracted to white, sry boys
- No overweight
Now the above are only some of the examples I’ve seen. And I for one think they are absolutely ridiculous. If we as a community want to get away from the notion that we are sex-crazed, have perfect quaffs, are tall, thin, handsome and white then we have to stop the discrimination and labeling from within first.
Yes of course I understand the idea of preference. Hell, even I have a preference. However, that does not mean I should turn into a bigot in the process. We of all people should know what it feels like to be excluded from a community, a community that is popularized by its acceptance to the rest of society and its desire to be a seamless part of the norm.
The shade that we throw toward one another is not vibes of acceptance, instead it breeds contempt, hatred, and ignorance from the inside out. A good rule of thumb is if you can’t say it out loud in a bar or wear it on a shirt, you probably shouldn’t say it.
Let’s try this again, love thy gay neighbor, in whatever shape or form they are in. Be accepting of people beyond their physicality. Also boys, try to remember this small little quip: not everybody wants to fuck with you.
What are your thoughts?
*A few years after writing this post, Buzzfeed posted this video that really summarizes the effect that discrimination can really do to people. Took a lot of those thoughts right out of my mind.*